when people ask u sex questions and ur just like
everyone says they want a fairytale wedding but when i show up and curse their firstborn suddenly i’m the jerk
wtf my battery ruined what would’ve been an excellent picture
do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you’re like “glad i got the fuck outta that one”
turns out hagrid is actually harry potter from the future
Today my friend told me that his older brother locks him in the closet so often that his mom leaves a whistle there so she knows to get him out
Me at the shipping fee to Australia for one item.